At the start of this year, I decided I wanted to sprinkle in more personal posts on Rhyme & Reason and I’m sticking to it. A popular topic I get asked about is Edwin and our marriage so I thought it would be fun to share a few thoughts on how I knew Edwin was the one with a little more on our backstory. Edwin and I met when we were both in college in 2010 through our mutual best friends. My best friend, Allison, was dating Edwin’s best friend in college, Tim, so Edwin and Allison became great friends (Allison and Tim are now married too!). The three of them went to the University of Southern California while I attended the University of Colorado. Allison and I got summer jobs and internships in California so while we were living together in the summer of 2010, Allison and Tim introduced Edwin and I to each other. Our relationship really started as a summer fling as I was heading back to Boulder in August but we couldn’t quit each other and we were long distance the rest of college until I moved to Los Angeles after graduation to attend grad school. We didn’t live together until we were married in Charleston in 2017 but we did finally live in the same city! Instead of dragging on about the ins and outs of our relationship, here’s how I knew Edwin was the one. All of this took us from a summer love to a forever love. There’s no one else in this world I love so nearly and dearly as Edwin!
How I Knew Edwin Was The One
1. I have more fun with Edwin than with anyone else
From the first day we met each other in the Sigma Chi house at USC, we have not stopped having fun! Our first summer together brought some of my most favorite days of my life filled with long, warm, sunny beach days that ended with barbecues and orange, peach, mango juice cocktails. I truly can’t put the amount of fun we had into words! We were surrounded by our best friends and our families and it was pure bliss. Since then, our real and regular lives have sunk in but we haven’t ever stopped having a blast together and haven’t ever stopped valuing finding time in our schedules and calendars to do the things we love the most. To me, everything is more fun with Edwin whether that’s a big thing like taking a trip or a little thing like walking to our neighborhood grocery.
2. We share the same values
Fun aside, I could never find ‘the one’ in someone who didn’t share the same values as me. In all honesty, I’m pretty traditional and traditions are important to me. I value traditions and all things family above all else. I found my match with Edwin because he does too. We know we’re on the same page with the things that matter the most of us because we’ve talked about them over the years we’ve been together. We know we want a family and we know the kind of love-filled home we want to raise our kids in. We both value our individual families and our own family traditions and are excited to meld them together. For example, picking godparents is a big deal in Edwin’s family and a huge honor. Each child gets four godparents, which is something Edwin feels very strongly about. I absolutely love the idea and can’t wait to go through it with our future children. Plus, I feel incredibly honored and grateful to be one of our niece’s godmothers!
3. We have a shared vision for the future
Our relationship has always felt pretty natural and throughout the entire 9 years we’ve been together, our relationship has had different stages of what the future looks like. We were both on the same page to make our relationship official and long distance after we spent a bit of time apart when I went back to Colorado at the end of the summer for college. We both shared the same vision of getting married. We were not always on the same page for where we wanted to live in the future, but we both ended up really happy and with a shared outlook that what is meant to be between Charleston and Los Angeles will be (we are very happy right now in CHS!). Now as a married couple, we have a shared vision for our lives in terms of our house purchase and remodel/restoration, finances, children, lifestyle, work, religion etc. In cases where our vision isn’t exactly aligned, we are content and in acceptance of how each other feel. We know what we are working for and our shared vision for the future has helped us make the tougher decisions in life.
4. Edwin is incredibly self-motivated, driven, and dedicated
In my opinion, laziness is just about the least attractive quality a person can have. Anyone that meets Edwin would say that he is the opposite of lazy in all area of his life. I am very attracted to Edwin’s drive, dedication, and work ethic and am filled with happiness when I see him succeed in his work and personal endeavors. Edwin’s motivation behind everything he does inspires me and motivates me to be a better person and a harder worker. Edwin is so creative and dedicated to his career but he is also dedicated to his relationships, his hobbies, and his passions. I love this about him and know that these characteristics were important to me in finding “the one.”
5. We are both equally happy to make sacrifices and compromises for each other to see the other happy and to see the other succeed
Throughout our relationship and marriage, we’ve both been open to making grand gestures for each other and to balance making decisions that are best for us as a couple with decisions that are best for each other individually. There are definitely times when more decisions need to/are made on Edwin’s behalf and times when more decisions need to/are made on my behalf but at the end of the day, we’ve decided to put each other first for this reason. We will both go so far as to move cities and states for the other based on opportunities that arise. To note: we were not always at this point in our relationship and it has been one of our greatest struggles as a couple. We’ve grown together, gained more perspective, and reprioritized our values over the years to get here!
6. We communicate and we practice listening to each other
Like many relationships, at times our relationship flows super easily and effortlessly but at other times, we work every hard at our relationship. We definitely get in our fair share of disagreements and misunderstandings but, by and large, we don’t fight. We don’t fight because we communicate with each other and because we practice listening to each other. I say practice because listening is so much more difficult than in sounds. I constantly try to listen to what Edwin is saying instead of thinking about and anticipating my rebuttal and I know he does the same for me. It is hard though, woof!
7. Edwin made a point to get to know and become close with my family and friends
Edwin is the kind of man that values people who are important to the people he loves. Early on, he made a point to get to know my family and friends, which did and still does mean so much to me! I’ve become close with his family and friends too so we really have the best circle around us! At the beginning of our relationship, I was so happy that Edwin wanted to introduce me to his loved ones. It goes a long way!
8. Edwin has great manners, is incredibly kind, and still does little chivalrous things even after years of us being together
Edwin does so many little kind things that all add up at the end of the day and go a long way in showing me just how much he cares for me. Edwin opens the car door for me every single time I get in the car and I can’t tell you how much I love it. Edwin waits to sit down at the dinner table until I sit. Edwin is full of sweet gestures and treats every person with respect and kindness! A huge thank you and shout out to his parents for raising him so well!
9. I can’t get enough of Edwin and adore everything about him
There are so many things about Edwin that I just love beyond belief! I love that he can walk into a double date or a party with me without knowing anyone else and walk out with new best friends. I love that he is up for trying anything at least once. I love that he wants to explore every destination, landscape, and culture on this earth. I love that he is such a hobbyist and always has a new idea or passion to pursue. I love that he makes me laugh every single day. I love that he is happiest when outdoors. I love that his inclination in life is to say ‘yes’ instead of ‘no.’ I love that he loves me and our dog so much and would do anything for us. I truly adore him!
10. When I thought about marrying Edwin, the part I was most exited for wasn’t the wedding but rather was the idea of spending the rest of our lives together
Don’t get me wrong, I was incredibly excited for our wedding and loved every moment of planning it but I was much more excited to start the rest of our lives together. If you’re thinking about an engagement and the part of getting married you are most excited for is the party, then I recommend thinking long and hard about actually getting engaged. Being Edwin’s wife and having Edwin as my husband is far more rewarding and exciting than having the best wedding. I knew he was the one because I couldn’t picture not spending the rest of my life without him!
At the end of the day, Edwin gives me the great love I’ve always dreamed of. I thank the Lord every day that Edwin and I were brought together by our incredible friends. I love the life we’re building and can’t wait for everything life has in store for us! Edwin brings out the best version of me and, for that, I am forever grateful! Thanks for reading friends! xx