Happy Wednesday loves! I didn’t even realize how busy I’ve been the last week until I saw that my last post was also a Wedding Wednesday post… where did the week go!? Today’s topic, “Wedding Wednesday: Should You Do Premarital Counseling?” is inspired by a couple of different things. First off, I almost included this article titled “Are you Ready to Get Married? Ask these 9 Questions First” in a recent Weekend Reads post but decided I wanted to use it here to help me write a post about pre-marital counseling instead. I’ve read countless articles like this one and, while I find them all interesting and thought provoking, they all say the same general thing. This particular article asks questions like “Do you want the same things?” and “Do your values align?” and “Are you financially compatible?” and “Are you able to communicate with each other?”. Hopefully you answered yes to all of these questions keeping in mind that no match is ever absolutely positively perfect. So, the popularity of articles like the above one and my own personal experience with premarital counseling inspired me to dedicate a whole post to the topic.
Marriage isn’t just what we see in movies or what Instagram makes it out to be (although Johannes Huebl’s “Sundays” series is one of my favorite things on Instagram). I have my parents to thank for teaching me that communication is the cornerstone to every relationship. I’m comfortable in my skin and I have a strong faith base so I don’t tend to struggle with expressing my feelings. One of my majors in college was psychology so I also really value the benefits of counseling. I interpret seeking counseling as a sign of strength, not weakness. So, for me, doing premarital counseling after getting engaged was a no brainer and I feel very fortunate that Edwin was open to it too.
You might be wondering what you should expect from premarital counseling. Well, I have no idea! I suspect it will be different for every couple and different based on who you do it with (a minister, a counselor, etc.). We did premarital counseling with the minister who will marry us and we truly enjoyed it. We touched on a handful of broad topics that provided Edwin and I with a lot to think about and talk about. For instance, we discussed going from a “you and me” relationship to an “us” relationship and what that looks like for decision making. We also talked about how to divvy up holidays between our families, how to do our finances, and how we want to raise our kids in terms of religion. There are honestly so so so many important topics to consider and talk about when two people decide to get married. Based on my experience, you can’t predict the feelings you’ll have toward them all until you both become very serious and you get engaged.
In answer to my “Wedding Wednesday: Should You Do Premarital Counseling?” topic, I’ll never tell y’all that you should do something (unless there is a too-good-to-be-true sale on shoes happening) but, in my experience, it was really valuable and a lovely, helpful, rewarding thing to share with my fiancé.
Photograph: My sister snapped this photo right after Edwin and I picked up our marriage license. (They don’t expire in South Carolina so we got it early and, no, it does not mean we’re married as Edwin
hoped thought (haha!). Our minister will sign it on our wedding day and submit it to the state of South Carolina and then we will be married!).